Long Description

Let's now look at a sample proof paragraph. The same proof paragraph will follow the topic sentence, supporting details and concluding sentence structure that was previously explained. It will follow this structure using a graphic organizer chart. This graphic organizer is helpful to organize your paragraph. Following is an example of a graphic organizer chart for a proof paragraph based on the novel The Chrysalids.

Detail #	The detail is identified (What is it?)	The proof -- an example (quotation with page number)	The explanation
1	a ritual exists for dealing with offences of crops or animals	"As the sun rose we would sign a hymn while my father ceremonially slaughtered the two-headed calf.." (19)	Joseph feels that it is necessary to recognize and deal with a deviation in a visible way.
1		"But if a whole field had gone wrong we would wait for good weather... and then set fire to it, singing hymns while it burnt." (19)	He is frightened by the offences and deviations.
2	government inspector to oversee that deviations are dealth with properly	"...the question of Offences was not always as simple as one might think, and when there was disagreement the district's inspector could be sent for. My father, however, seldom called in the inspector; he preferred to be on the safe side and liquidate anything doubtful" (19)	David's father always acts quickly so that the inspector is not called.
2			He feels pressured by the inspector and does not want to risk the inspector feeling any need to fit in.
3	raids from the Fringes	"But as time went on and the frontier was pushed back there were more Fringes people trying to live on less country ... it was no longer just a matter of a dozen or so making a quick raid and then running back into the Fringes country; they came instead in large, organized bands and did a lot of damage" (20)	Raids from the Fringes are growing worse because these "non-humans" have less territory to live in with the expansion of land that breeds true reliably.
			People of Waknuk are still compelled to declare even the smallest deformity deviant and non-human.
			There is pressure to declare deviants and pressure from the Blasphemies living a subsistence existence in the Fringes.

Concluding Sentence

Pressured people are fearful and disinclined to accept or think for themselves.

With the graphic organizer complete for the sample paragraph, we can now begin writing the rough draft.

(Topic Sentence) The history of Waknuk, which David provides, reveals a community pressure by the frequency of deviations from the norm. (Detail #1) First of all, the frequency of the deviations is so great the Joseph Strorm has developed a special routine from purification. The discovery of a deviant animal or plant results in ritual destruction of the Offence. (Proof #1) Everyone who worked on the farm would gather to sing hymns with Joseph either “slaughtered the two-headed calf four legged chicken or whatever kind of Offence it happened to be or set fire to the field to destroy offending crops. (Explanation #1) The fact that Joseph finds it necessary to perform this ritual shows that he is frightened by these occurrences and feels pressured to act quickly to eliminate the deviations. (Detail #2) Not only does the community have a ritual for dealing with Offences, but it has a government inspector who oversees that deviations are dealt with in a correct way. If there were any disagreements about Offences, the district’s inspector could be sent for. (Proof #2) Joseph Strorm, “…however seldom called in the inspector, he preferred to be on the safe side and liquidate anything doubtful”. (Explanation #2) In other words, Joseph felt pressured to be watchful and act to deal with deviations before he could be corrected by the inspector. (Detail #3) Lastly, David reveals that Waknuk is pressured by raids from the Fringes. The people of the Fringes are those who, according to the Definition of Man, are deviant, and therefore, not human. (Proof #3) These people are forced to live in an area where “nothing is dependable” and as a result, have very little food or material comforts. The Fringes people get their provisions by raining Wuknuk, and in recent years, there raids have become more threatening:” …it is no longer just a matter of a dozen or so making a quick raid and then running back into the Fringes country: they came instead in large, organized bands and did a lot of damage”. (Explanation #3) It would be logical to assume that if the inspector was strict and ensuring that Offences were destroyed, then he would be equally careful about Blasphemies or human deviations. In an effort to maintain purity laws, the people of Wuknuk would feel pressured to obey the Definition of Man rigidly and send the slightest deviation to the Fringes. This would in turn contribute to the size of the raids by increasing the population and creating more pressure for the community of Wuknuk. (Concluding Sentence) The background information that David provides is essential in showing the degree of stress with which the people of Wuknuk lived. David shows that the community members will deal harshly with anything that is different in any way from the accepted norm.