You have had the opportunity to reflect on how you approach conflict and ways to build and maintain working relationships.  

• Do you ever consider how you respond to conflict? 
• What if someone was rude or disrespectful to you.
• Do you lash out? 
• Do you avoid and ignore?  
• Does it depend on the situation? 
• Can you respond in a neutral, professional way?

Watch Dan O’Connor's video on the four power phrases that can help you in tough situations.  

Can you think of a time when you could have responded to a situation using one of Dan's four phrases?

1. That’s interesting, tell me more.
2. That’s interesting, why would you say that?
3. That’s interesting, why would you do that?
4. That’s interesting, why would you ask that?

Put his recommendations to the test the next time you find yourself in the face of conflict.

When we are faced with animosity (definition:strong hostility.) or conflict, there are four typical ways we respond:

These are all natural responses; our body often reacts before our brain even has a chance to think about the situation. Our instincts kick in and we often act without thinking.  None of these responses is the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer and each situation calls for something different.  Just like your communication and conflict management skills, your response to a conflict can also be learned or developed.

The way we react to conflict affects the outcome of the situation.  You can likely think of a time when a conflict did not resolve well.  You probably reflected on what went wrong, or what you could have said.  These instances can affect your emotional and physical well-being negatively.

Some techniques for creating positive change in a conflicting situation are:

• ‘Listen’ to the opposing view.  Think about your thoughts and feelings before you respond verbally.
• Plan and write down what you are going to say.
• Stay calm, and do not get angry.
• If the opposer gets angry, walk away.
• Do not take it personally.
• Do not hold a grudge.
• Move on.

Being able to manage positive interactions and build healthy, respectful and professional relationships can change conflict into positive stress.(definition:Positive stress motivates you.  Good stress can push you to keep moving forward and help you achieve more goals, ultimately leading to more happiness and success.) Read the following article Building Great Work Relationships from MindTools. While you are reading, think about what you already know about building positive relationships.  Does this article introduce any new and useful information?  Are there any tips/recommendations that you do not think would be very effective?  

 Journal: Transitioning in Life

In your Journal make a list of tips or strategies (at least five) for yourself that will help you transition to the next step of your life.  Some questions that might guide you in creating tips/strategies are:

• What do you see as the next phase of your life?  For example, a new job, school, new relationship?
• What will you do purposefully to be successful?
• How will you deal with the stress of working with new people?  In a new environment?
• How will you approach conflict?

An excellent resource to get some ideas (especially when transitioning from school to work) is at Resume Coach.

 

Do you get the feeling that most of the tips you have come across ask you to ‘play nice’ with everyone?  As much as you should maintain positive relationships with the people you interact with, it is also important to know how to self-advocate and seek support when needed so that you can meet your learning, professional and personal needs.

Why is it important to self-advocate?  Are you comfortable speaking up for yourself?  Can you see any similarities between advocacy and leadership?

Speaking up is hard to do, even when you know you should.  This Ted Talk from social psychologist Adam Galinsky aims to teach you how to assert yourself, navigate tricky social situations and expand your power.

 

Think of a time when you did or did not speak up for yourself.  How did it make you feel?  If you advocated for yourself, what gave you the courage?  If you did not speak up, what would you do differently?

 Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations refer to the practice of positive thinking and self-empowerment.  It can foster a positive mental attitude supported by affirmations that can help you achieve success in anything. 

Write a list of positive affirmations that will help boost your confidence when you find yourself in a situation where you are nervous or hesitant to speak up. 

Make this list visually appealing and put it somewhere you will see it on a regular basis. Just like the transition list, these confidence boosters can be a reminder of what you can and will do when you need it most.  For example, “My feelings are important and worth being heard.” 

Submit your list to your Journal with your Avatar profile.

 

For some further reading on stress and conflict (and what unnecessary personal drama can do to your brain), visit Psychology Today.

 

CONSOLIDATION

How do you behave when someone is confrontational with you?  Do you feel you are effective?

 Managing Conflict and Stress

Create an infographic that shares strategies that you have learned in this activity to resolve conflict and/or manage stress.  Be sure to include how this information is personally relevant to you.  You may wish to use a website such as Canva, Pictochart or another resource to help you create your infographic.  You may also use a pen and paper if you prefer and submit a picture file to be evaluated.

1. Create an infographic that shares strategies that you have learned to resolve conflict and or manage stress.
2. Consider choosing a conflict scenario or event that you have encountered in your life and focus your strategies on dealing with this issue.  Briefly detail this in your infographic - include colours and images that help to represent your feelings.
3. You should include a minimum of 2 strategies that you could use in this situation to resolve this conflict or manage stress related to this issue.
4. For each strategy, be sure to connect this back to you; how could applying these strategies to the conflict scenario have impacted you?

If you would like a refresher on the key components of infographics, refer back to the Healthy Eating activity.

Be sure to put a copy of your infographic in your Journal with your Avatar profile

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