Minds on.

This is the ePortfolio icon. My Perfect Mate

If you were given the option to create your perfect partner, could you? Take a look at the list below and select the top 5 qualities and/or behaviours that you would seek in your perfect mate. Rank them in order, with 1 being the most important.

Faithful

Caring

Loving

Sense of humour

Affectionate

Responsible

Beautiful face

Nice body

Makes a lot of money

Hard worker

Good cook

Educated

Same religious beliefs

Good communicator

Likes sports

Artistic

Outgoing

Reserved

Wants children

Family-oriented

Free from addictions

Spontaneous

Organized

Family approves

Stylish

Nice car

Physically fit/healthy

  • What did you rank highest and lowest on your list? Why?
  • What influenced your choices? Explain why you made each of your selections.
  • Was there something that was missing? Explain.

Now, what would happen if you had no choice in your mate selection? In the interactive below, click the spin button as it appears beside each trait box. A random trait for your mate will be chosen. There is one wild card. If you get the wild card, you can make that trait anything that you wish. Some of these traits are from the same list that you saw above. There are other traits that you may perceive as negative, such as a addictions, illness etc. that have been added to the wheel.

If you're working on a tablet, click here to open the following interactive in its own window instead of using the embedded version below.

Reflection: Wheel of Mating

  • What selections were you happy about?
  • Was there something you had hoped to get and did not?
  • How would you feel if this was reality and these characteristics really did belong to your partner? Do you think your union would be successful? Explain.

What you have experienced in this activity are some of the choices one might make when finding a partner. If a person wishes to have a mate for life, he/she often dates several individuals before finding a life partner. For others, their family might select their mate. Regardless of who makes the decision, have you ever considered what influences the ideals and choices made about your perfect mate?

Action.

Attraction and Mate Selection: Theoretical Perspectives

Social scientists use theories to explain reasons why we might find someone attractive and how we go about the process of selecting a mate. In this next section, you will examine a variety of theories used by social scientists in their study of attraction and mate selection. As a reminder, theories present a viewpoint or a way of explaining a situation. They are not facts, merely perspectives.

Theory and Understanding Attraction

What do you find attractive in a romantic partner? What characteristics do you notice first? Take a look at the video clip that describes some of the science and biology of attraction.

This video clip also forms the basis of the evolutionary theory of attraction and preliminary mate selection theory.

Theories of Mate Selection

As you have already seen, the evolutionary theory of attraction provides insight into the reasons why we might find people attractive, and potentially select them as a mate. There are several other theories that help us to understand how we go about the process of selecting and filtering potential mates. Social homogamy, complementary needs, ideal mate, propinquity theory, and social exchange are all examples of mate selection theories. To help you differentiate between the theoretical perspectives on attraction and mate selection, the theories have been organized in the learning object below.

If you're working on a tablet, click here to open the following interactive in its own window instead of using the embedded version below.

This is the quiz icon. Attraction and Mate Selection Theories Quiz

Select the correct theory for each of the situations below.

  1. Nandini is a spender and was attracted to Daniel because he’s very good at saving money.
    1. Evolutionary Theory
    2. Social Homogamy
    3. Complementary Needs
    4. Ideal Mate
    5. Propinquity Theory
    6. Social Exchange
    Answer

    Complementary Needs

  1. Even though Cleo isn’t great at saving money, she has lots of friends and is very social. Monica feels like Cleo brings so much positivity to the relationship, even though she doesn’t save money.
    1. Evolutionary Theory
    2. Social Homogamy
    3. Complementary Needs
    4. Ideal Mate
    5. Propinquity Theory
    6. Social Exchange
    Answer

    Social Exchange.

  1. Peter was initially attracted to Paul because he saw him in the same seat in class each day.
    1. Evolutionary Theory
    2. Social Homogamy
    3. Complementary Needs
    4. Ideal Mate
    5. Propinquity Theory
    6. Social Exchange
    Answer

    Propinquity Theory.

  1. Mina and Roberto go to the same church and have the same values about raising a family, so the attraction seemed mutual right from the start.
    1. Evolutionary Theory
    2. Social Homogamy
    3. Complementary Needs
    4. Ideal Mate
    5. Propinquity Theory
    6. Social Exchange
    Answer

    Social Homogamy.

  1. Richard seems to be attracted to women with a slim waist and wider hips.
    1. Evolutionary Theory
    2. Social Homogamy
    3. Complementary Needs
    4. Ideal Mate
    5. Propinquity Theory
    6. Social Exchange
    Answer

    Evolutionary Theory.

  1. Leonardo always seems to be attracted to tall women with brunette hair.
    1. Evolutionary Theory
    2. Social Homogamy
    3. Complementary Needs
    4. Ideal Mate
    5. Propinquity Theory
    6. Social Exchange
    Answer

    Ideal Mate.

Other Mitigating Factors and Critiques of the Theories

Although these theories have presented us with some ideas about why we might select a potential mate, there are other mitigating factors that can influence our perceptions and explanations.

This is the ePortfolio icon. Reflection: The Halo Effect: The Science of Attraction

Watch the following video and answer the questions below.

  1. What is the halo effect?
  2. How does the halo effect influence personal relationships and the way we perceive others?
  3. Can you think of an instance in your own life or an example from a movie where the halo effect came into play? Explain.

This is the discussion icon. Theory Critiques and Criticisms

Select one of the following options to consider:

Option 1

Select one of the attraction or mate selection theories presented. Using search engines and databases, research a critique or criticism of the theory. Explain whether or not you think the theory still has merit or value and why.

Option 2

Alternately, you may research critiques or criticisms to mate selection theories as a whole. Do theories exclude individuals who wish to remain single, who identify as asexual, bisexual etc.? Do you think mate selection theories have merit or value in the study of relationships?

Using Theories: The Development of Intimate Relationships and Love

Just as theories can be used to explain attraction and mate selection, they can also be used to explain how intimate relationships develop and are sustained. In addition, there are also theories about how love develops, and in turn, how that impacts relationship outcomes.

Read the following pages to discover how various theories explain intimate relationships and love. If you want to view any links in this pdf, right click and select "Open Link in New Tab" to avoid leaving this page.

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