If you were given the option to create your perfect partner, could you? Take a look at the list below and select the top 5 qualities and/or behaviours that you would seek in your perfect mate. Rank them in order, with 1 being the most important.
Faithful
Caring
Loving
Sense of humour
Affectionate
Responsible
Beautiful face
Nice body
Makes a lot of money
Hard worker
Good cook
Educated
Same religious beliefs
Good communicator
Likes sports
Artistic
Outgoing
Reserved
Wants children
Family-oriented
Free from addictions
Spontaneous
Organized
Family approves
Stylish
Nice car
Physically fit/healthy
Now, what would happen if you had no choice in your mate selection? In the interactive below, click the spin button as it appears beside each trait box. A random trait for your mate will be chosen. There is one wild card. If you get the wild card, you can make that trait anything that you wish. Some of these traits are from the same list that you saw above. There are other traits that you may perceive as negative, such as a addictions, illness etc. that have been added to the wheel.
What you have experienced in this activity are some of the choices one might make when finding a partner. If a person wishes to have a mate for life, he/she often dates several individuals before finding a life partner. For others, their family might select their mate. Regardless of who makes the decision, have you ever considered what influences the ideals and choices made about your perfect mate?
Social scientists use theories to explain reasons why we might find someone attractive and how we go about the process of selecting a mate. In this next section, you will examine a variety of theories used by social scientists in their study of attraction and mate selection. As a reminder, theories present a viewpoint or a way of explaining a situation. They are not facts, merely perspectives.
What do you find attractive in a romantic partner? What characteristics do you notice first? Take a look at the video clip that describes some of the science and biology of attraction.
This video clip also forms the basis of the evolutionary theory of attraction and preliminary mate selection theory.
As you have already seen, the evolutionary theory of attraction provides insight into the reasons why we might find people attractive, and potentially select them as a mate. There are several other theories that help us to understand how we go about the process of selecting and filtering potential mates. Social homogamy, complementary needs, ideal mate, propinquity theory, and social exchange are all examples of mate selection theories. To help you differentiate between the theoretical perspectives on attraction and mate selection, the theories have been organized in the learning object below.
Select the correct theory for each of the situations below.
Complementary Needs
Social Exchange.
Propinquity Theory.
Social Homogamy.
Evolutionary Theory.
Ideal Mate.
Although these theories have presented us with some ideas about why we might select a potential mate, there are other mitigating factors that can influence our perceptions and explanations.
Watch the following video and answer the questions below.
Select one of the following options to consider:
Option 1
Select one of the attraction or mate selection theories presented. Using search engines and databases, research a critique or criticism of the theory. Explain whether or not you think the theory still has merit or value and why.
Option 2
Alternately, you may research critiques or criticisms to mate selection theories as a whole. Do theories exclude individuals who wish to remain single, who identify as asexual, bisexual etc.? Do you think mate selection theories have merit or value in the study of relationships?
Just as theories can be used to explain attraction and mate selection, they can also be used to explain how intimate relationships develop and are sustained. In addition, there are also theories about how love develops, and in turn, how that impacts relationship outcomes.
Read the following pages to discover how various theories explain intimate relationships and love. If you want to view any links in this pdf, right click and select "Open Link in New Tab" to avoid leaving this page.